Utopian Dream
by ExcaliburMaiden
Summary: Guinevere struggles with settling into her new life as queen and forms an unexpected friendship with Princess Mithian. When something stronger than friendship blossoms between Merlin and Mithian during her stay, he's torn between a new love and remaining true to an old one. (Mithian/Merlin/Freya)
1. Chapter 1

"Utopian Dream"

Category: (Canon)

Characters/Pairings: Mithian/Merlin/Freya

Rating/Warnings: T

Basic Summary-

Guinevere struggles with settling into her new life as queen and forms an unexpected friendship with Princess Mithian. When something stronger than friendship blossoms between Merlin and Mithian during her stay, he's torn between a new love and remaining true to an old one.

* * *

And in the breeze that kisses my tear streaked face

I find a glimmer of a smile the dawning of a new day

A day that dissolves anguish and brings an abundance of happiness

-Jay Bryant,Life's Flow

I don`t own Merlin.

**Part One** -

Queen Guinevere fled the stateroom, her purple, flowing skirt billowing behind her as she raced down an empty corridor and toward the nearest alcove. She leaned against the stone wall, resting her head on the cool, rough surface. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and breathed in ragged gasps, letting the tears she held back previously flow freely now.

The visiting nobles` poisonous whispers still rung in her ears. Normally she would`ve been strong enough to withstand their cruelty, but such occurrences were becoming commonplace now that she was queen. Guinevere was at her breaking point; everything she did fell prey to scrutiny. This was her first council meeting with Camelot`s allies in Arthur`s absence, and it couldn't have turned out more horribly.

"The Pretender"or The Peasant Queen" were a few of the lesser names she was given. If this was the very worst then she would've been fine, but sadly it was not.

Her exile and near replacement, Princess Mithian, were among the favorite topics. But this was not what brought her to this point and reduced her to a sobbing mess. An elderly noble woman knocked over a water-filled goblet, and acting on a servant`s instincts, she rushed to wipe the table and floor dry. The nobles surrounding her burst into laughter, all but Princess Mithian.

It was beyond awkward and a bit hurtful as well to meet the woman who could`ve been Arthur`s wife. Unbidden memories returned when the beautiful princess, who skilfully masked her true feelings with a smile, entered the stateroom dressed in gold and ivory and was the very image of courtly grace. Not a single hair was out of place, and she undoubtedly would have been the perfect wife and queen.

She was the last person Guinevere wanted to see right now, but when she turned to leave the alcove, Mithian stood in front of her, offering a handkerchief.

"Thank you," she said hoarsely, tabbing her eyes and blowing her reddened nose. Her dark, curly hair was frizzled and her dress`s collar tear-stained.

"Unfortunately gossip is an ugly part of the court," Mithain explained with a sad smile. "Royals are no more above it than commoners even if we like to think differently."

"I could never be like that," Guinevere said, sniffling. "I couldn't wear a mask and pretend to be something I'm not."

"And you shouldn`t. You simply need to try diplomatic neutrality."

The queen rose a brow at this. "What?"

"Truthfully I have no more love for the Lady Anna of NorthUmbria than I have for prunes," the princess confessed with a straight face.

Guinevere lightly scoffed at the comment.

"But I don`t focus on her negative character traits. I think of Nemeth and how NorthUmbria can be a beneficial ally."

"The Lady Anna was a terror at dinner last night," Guinevere admitted. "She was terrible to Merlin. You should have heard the way she spoke to him. And she's a horrible dancer. I've seen ducklings with better rhythm."

The princess gave a very unladylike snort, and the queen laughed as well. Maybe everything would be alright after all.

* * *

King Arthur was worried-very worried in fact. He stood in front of a window, pensively gazing down at his wife and former fiancée in the castle gardens.

"What`s got you so jittery?" Merlin asked, grinning and peeking over his shoulder to see what had captured the king`s attention when he entered the hallway.

"I thought it would be obvious."

He moved to stand beside him, gazing out the window and turning back toward Arthur again.

"How is it obvious?"

Arthur sighed and turned away from the window to face him.

"Look at out there and tell me what you see."

"I see Gwen and Mithian standing by the rose bushes talking."

"Exactly."

"How is that a problem?"

The king`s eyes widened in disbelief, and his brows nearly rose to his hairline. "Do I need to spell it out for you?"

"Oh,"Merlin said at last as realization dawned. Waving a hand dismissively, he added, "I'm sure they're fine."

"How do you know? You just have one those funny feelings again?"

Merlin shrugged, smiling. "What do you want me to do, Arthur? Spy on them."

The king`s blue eyes brightened at the idea, and his lips formed a knowing smile. His manservant gaped at him when he realized the trap he was ensnared in.

"No."

"You can't refuse, Merlin. I'm the king. You have to do what I say."

"That`s never stopped me before," he replied turning to leave.

"Well, I'm sure George would enjoy teaching you how to polish armour properly. Third time's the charm," he said as he leaned his arm against the wall, the afternoon sunlight filtering through the window shone against his golden hair and made his chainmail glisten.

"You wouldn`t?" he groaned, rubbing his temples and trying to block out the memories of George`s brass jokes.

He stepped toward his friend, ruffling his raven hair. "Immediately and without hesitation."

* * *

Merlin squinted in the bright sunlight as he entered the elaborate gardens, spotting Guinevere and Mithian sitting by the peacock water fountain near the garden maze`s entrance. He pretended not to see them, gazing down at the roses and nightshade with false interest.

"Hello, Merlin," Guinevere called out, and Mithian nodded, smiling in greeting.

"I'm surprised to find you here. I never knew you had an interest in flowers."

He walked toward them, stopping beside the fountain. "Yes, I'm full of surprises, and I certainly haven't been sent to spy on anyone."

The two women exchanged glances, and then Guinevere said with mild exasperation, "I can't believe Arthur sent you to spy on us. What was it this time? Washing extra socks or polishing armour with George?"

"It`s usually the last bit."

The queen shook her head, curls swaying with the motion, stood up and turned toward Mithian. "We'll continue our chat later. I think I need to teach my husband a lesson. Merlin can keep you company." She looked toward him with a smile. "Won't you?"

"Of course, Gwen," he answered, not letting his smile slip, and silently, he began preparing for the awkwardness he expected the moment she left.

He and the princess of Nemeth hadn't met on the best of terms. She had come into their lives during one of the kingdom`s darkest times. Matters of the heart were as damaging as warfare, and each left their mark even if it was in a different way. Still, he hadn't meant to hurt her, and he intended to let her know. His single-minded protectiveness toward Gwen`s wellbeing blinded him from seeing what a wonderful person she was.

"You can sit, Merlin," she teased with one of the sweetest smiles he`d ever seen. "I promise I won't bite."

"Sorry," he said with an awkward laugh before sitting across from her.

"There`s no need to apologize."

He stared down at his folded hands then cocked his head to the side, looking up at her.

"No, princess. There is every need. I've wronged you, and I`m sorry. Many things happened back then that you weren't aware of. I was worried for Gwen, and I thought..."

"Say no more,"she interrupted but with kindness in her voice. "I understand. You were only thinking of your friends, but I hope that you will consider me one as well."

He beamed at her and nearly outshone the sun`s radiance. The warmth of his smile reached his eyes, making the mesmerizing blue twice as captivating.

"Of course."

"Good," she smiled in return and then gazed at the fanned water formation rising from the peacock`s back as the shimmering droplets flowed into the glistening pool below, lost in thought. The princess was pleased but also surprised at how everything turned out. Apparently destiny had a sense of humor. Mithian was a perceptive woman, and she soon realized that King Arthur had done more then give sacred lands. He unknowingly granted her the freedom to pursue the whims of her heart.

A comfortable silence settled between them before she spoke again.

"I didn't love Arthur, but I was fond of him. I suppose more injury was done to my pride than my heart. I never imagined I'd become friends with Gwen. She is lovely, and it would take much effort for me to dislike her. It`s strange how fate works."

He nodded in agreement, silently pondering her words.

"You're a kind person, and you have a good heart. I'm sure you'll find the love you deserve."

"Thank you, Merlin."

Just then a familiar, kingly voiced bellowed from afar. When he moved to stand up, his fingers gently brushed against hers.

"Sorry, I have to go. Duty calls."

"It was nice speaking with you. Good bye, Merlin."

"Likewise. Goodbye, princess."

As she watched him leave the gardens, she wondered at the lingering warmth of her hand and why it made her heart flutter a little.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two –**

Long after the visiting nobles had gone, Mithian remained as a personal guest of the queen. She fit perfectly into their lives, and it seemed as though she had always been there. Guinevere enjoyed her company immensely, and the feeling was mutual. She hadn`t enjoyed female companionship since Morgana fled Camelot and became one of the kingdom`s greatest foes, but since today was a pleasingly warm spring afternoon, she put such thoughts behind her and decided to enjoy the ride with Mithian and Merlin.

"Do you think Ginger can handle going up hill?"Guinevere asked, peering over her shoulder to glance at Merlin, who trailed behind the princess. "She`s rather old and getting a bit slow."

"Sure," he answered, patting the horse`s neck, and she neighed in approval. "Ginger is a tough old girl. She can handle any uphill climb."

"Ginger," Mithian repeated, smiling. "What a sweet thought of it?"

Merlin chuckled. "I did, and Arthur said I'm even more of a girl than he thought. I suppose he would have given her a much more clever name. Something like what he called his own horse."

"Nonsense," the princess said, and Guinevere agreed. "I think her name is lovely. What would Arthur have called her?"

"The same name he gives them all... horse."

Both women burst into giggles, and he grinned.

After choosing the seemingly perfect spot for their picnic, the trio dismounted, secured the horses and carried the supplies toward a nearby tree. Once the blanket was spread over the grass and the various dishes filled with fruits, breads and cheeses were laid out, Merlin stepped back, finding a place to sit close by. He'd grown used to carrying and setting up the picnic wares and never expected to be a partaker.

"Aren't you joining us?" Mithian asked, holding up a plate for him.

"Really? You mean I can?"

"Don't be silly, Merlin," Guinevere chided lightly, gesturing for him to sit beside her. "Things shouldn't change between us just because I'm the queen. I will be your friend as I always have."

So he did and accepted the plate from the princess with a grateful smile. "Thank you. I've never been to a picnic before. Well... I have but not in this way."

Mithian gazed at him sympathetically, gently placing her hand atop his. "That will change from now on."

The three friends enjoyed their lunch and the serenity of the forest surrounding them until Mithian cried out in pain, pulling her hand away from the tall grass.

"Something bit me."

She jumped up, clutching her injured hand and backed away from the spot. Guinevere and Merlin rushed to her side to inspect the wound. Twin welting red marks marred her delicate, pale skin.

"It looks like a snake bite," Merlin breathed fearfully, eyeing the wound gravely. His panic increased as he felt the dark stirrings of magic, but he could no longer detect the creature. After internally berating himself, Merlin realized when Mithian's eyes began to glaze that this was not the time for self-loathing. She needed help.

Her vision blurred and eyes drooped as she swayed to the side, and the queen cried in alarm. Merlin caught her, sweeping her up into his arms and carried her toward the horses, followed by Guinevere.

"I`m sorry," he whispered against her hair.

_For not noticing._

_For not protecting you._

* * *

After Arthur and Guinevere sadly left his quarters, the elderly court physician reluctantly pushed aside his herbal brews and potions and wearily rest his arms against his work table.

"I`m afraid I`ve done all I can for her. It`s up to you now, Merlin."

He nodded solemnly, sitting by Mithian`s bedside, and placed a hand against her warm, sweaty brow. His sea blue eyes blazed gold, and healing magic coursed through the princess`s sickly, frail frame. A prickling heat tingled his fingers, but he ignored it and continued to let his magic flow freely. It began as a faint sensation and then became a powerful jolt that flung him back against his chair.

"Merlin!" Gaius cried, nearly stumbling over the hem of his robe to reach him. "What`s happened?"

He bowed his head, resting his hands against his knees and breathing laboriously before answering, "I`m not sure. There`s some kind of magic inside her reacting to my own. It`s trying to stop me from healing her."

"How is this possible?" Gaius exclaimed, wide eyed. "And you haven't any clue as to what sort of creature bit the princess?"

"No. I never saw it. I only sensed it for a moment."

The court physician reached out, brushing a stray curl away from her damp cheek and gazing at her sadly.

"Then we can only pray that you have the power to overcome it, for if not she will surely die."

"I won`t let that happen."

Merlin rest his hands against Mithian`s brow again, heart sinking further as her breathing became shallower. And he tried countless times until night came and the darkness faded into morning light.

* * *

His slumber-clouded eyes fluttered open, and he realized he'd fallen asleep, cramped and hunched by Mithian`s bed. Despite his aching muscles protest, he felt too tired to move. He had given one last burst of power before he collapsed from exhaustion. A voice called his name, and he mumbled a response, not moving from the spot. His face nestled in a pillow that Gaius had placed there. A hand ran through his soft, raven locks soothingly, softly calling him once more. Somehow gaining strength he didn`t know he had, he willed his limbs to move and looked up.

"Mithian," he cried in relief.

She smiled weakly, still looking a bit sick and very tired. "Gaius told me what happened. I owe my well being to you. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said softly, linking his fingers with hers when she reached for his hand.

* * *

With time, Mithian`s strength returned, and Merlin was by her side whenever he had a moment to spare. Today she sat alone in her guest chambers by the window, watching the rain fall and feeling a bit bored and lonely. She was disappointed to know that she wasn't well enough to be out and about, much less ready to make a journey home. There was a knock at the door, and Mithian gathered her pale blue skirts and rose to answer. She swept her braided hair off her shoulder and opened the door to see a dripping wet Merlin holding a slightly soggy bouquet of white and purple wildflowers. She had enough grace not to laugh at him and ushered him inside.

"The weather was perfectly fine until I decided to pick these," he explained with a sheepish grin.

Mithian accepted the flowers putting them in a vase on her bedside table. "They're lovely. Thank you. Now come sit by the fire before you catch a cold."

She ignored his protests and wrapped a blanket around him when he sat down, realizing he was fighting a battle he couldn't win.

"Would you like to play chess again later?" the princess asked, smiling and taking a seat beside him. "Be forewarned that I'm going to beat you this time."

"Gladly," he replied, returning her smile. "Playing chess with you is a true battle of wits."

She laughed. "Well, then you better be up for the challenge. I've been practicing."

The crackling fire filled the silence for a moment, and she appreciated the glow the firelight cast against his gentle features. Perturbed by the sudden warmth tingling in her belly, she looked away clearing her throat when he caught her watching him.

"You're an amazing person, Merlin. You show such extraordinary loyalty and compassion to everyone around you. Arthur is lucky to have a friend like you."

He ducked his head, dimples forming with a small, pleased smile. His smile faltered when his gaze settled on the pink, raised skin on her hand. Mithian suddenly felt self-conscious and covered her injured hand with the other. An awkward silence passed between them. He rose from the chair and unraveled the blanket around him.

"I should go before Arthur starts looking for me."

He scarcely reached the door before slipping on a small trail of water that dripped from his damp clothes when he entered her chambers. Mithian sprang from her chair to steady him. He looked ridiculous and smelled of wild flowers, but in this reckless moment the idea of kissing him never seemed so appealing. Then it struck her like a blow to the chest, she loved him. Everything was a blur after that, and a wide eyed Merlin murmured against her lips in surprise as her arms encircled him. Once he gathered his wits, his eyes fluttered shut, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, relishing the soft warmth of her lips against his.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part three **

Mithian's kiss remained at the center of his thoughts even as he tipped the water-filled pitcher toward Leon's goblet. The knight smiled and thanked him, but Merlin did not notice. He only half-listened to the raucous Gwaine made when he told the surrounding knights about his adventures during a late night patrol. Soon he passed their table and moved on filling each goblet in turn until the pitcher was empty. Then he headed back to the kitchen, nearly bumping into a serving girl along the way.

_She was a princess._ This single thought continued to replay in his head. Mithian was as beautiful as she was intelligent, and Merlin knew he wasn't the only man who realized this. Many knights and nobles were captivated by her and gazed at her for far longer than what was proper.

_Why me?_ he couldn't help but wonder.

Kissing her had been wonderful, and he drowned in her warmth and the intoxicating scent of her perfume. The kisses were had been gentle and even curious at first before becoming bolder, almost teasing. He couldn't remember the breathy gibberish he had whispered afterward, but he was certain he made a fool of himself, and she still wanted to see him again. Once his heart stopped racing and he was able to clear his head, a sobering realization occurred to him. It came in one painful word that made his heart plummet.

Gratitude.

This had to be it. Mithian confused feelings of gratitude for love, and he cursed himself for being too foolish to realize it sooner. She could never love someone like him. All the subtle glances or touches he dared to hope held a secret meaning meant nothing at all. He had opened his heart to the idea and couldn't deny what he was beginning to feel. Merlin hadn't felt this way about anyone since he lost his Freya. It still hurt to think of her, and guilt followed the pain because for a moment he nearly fell for Mithian. But no, Freya was his first love and would remain his only one.

Audrey grumbled a warning about staying away from her dumplings, but Merlin didn't hear her. He grabbed the refilled pitcher and left. Dumplings were far from his mind.

* * *

When the banquet ended, he went to Mithian`s chambers. They would normally play chess at this hour, but he had not come for this. He reluctantly raised a hand to knock on her door, already dreading the encounter even though he planned what he would say beforehand. Mithian beamed when she opened the door and saw him standing in the candle lit hallway. Her smile faltered, noticing his unhappiness as she stepped aside to let him in. They sat in their usual place in front of the fireplace, and Mithian reached for his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been thinking about what happened earlier and..."

"You're not regretting it, are you?"she asked, disappoint and hurt apparent in her voice.

"No,"he answered, beginning to have second thoughts before continuing. "I`m not sure if what you feel for me is truly what you think. Maybe it`s only gratitude because I saved your life. You're a princess, and I`m .. . I'm a nobody. How can you love me? There are more worthy suitors who could court you openly and freely."

Rather than pulling away as he expected, she withdrew her hand to caress his cheek, gazing at him intently.

"My feelings aren't mistaken, and it saddens me to know that you don`t realize your own worth. You're a good man, Merlin."

She was pleased to see that he didn`t look down or away like he normally did when someone complimented him. With a smile, she added, "You're quite handsome as well, and what if I don't want a knight or a nobleman? You have a noble heart, and that is worth more than all the riches in the five kingdoms."

His heart swelled upon hearing these words, and he was rendered speechless. Whatever misgivings he had previously faded away with the familiar, pleasurable warmth of her touch.

* * *

Merlin jolted awake when he felt the familiar stirrings of dark magic, and he clumsily tumbled out of bed, sparing a moment to breathe and clear his sleep-clouded mind before searching for his boots in the darkness. He headed out of the room and crept past Gaius` slumbering form, shutting the creaking door. The faint ripple of magic led him down the corridors and out into the courtyard, and he darted into the shadows when he heard approaching footsteps and waited for the guards to pass. Once they had left he ran off into the night, only stopping to rest when he reached the forest.

His wanderings lead him to the Lake of Avalon, and he squinted in the bright morning light, watching the glistening ripples. The dark power ebbed, and he'd lost track of it now. Suddenly a trail of light spread across the lake's surface, and the calm waters churned and then parted to reveal the lithe form of young woman clothed in a deep purple dress. Her dark, damp hair reached the curve of her back, and she lifted her flowing skirts, exposing her dainty, bare feet as she made her way to the shore.

" Freya!" Merlin cried, voice betwixt a gasp and a sob. He didn't wait for her to reach the shoreline, and he rushed toward her, clumsily splashing as he stumbled in his haste to be near her. There was no distinguishing between tears and water droplets when he reached out to embrace her. He rest his forehead against hers and relished the feeling of holding her close.

"Please don`t cry," she whispered, large brown eyes gazing at him sadly.

"Sorry, I can't help it," he choked out. "You're here, and you're real."

Freya smiled. "Yes, I'm real."

Seeing her beautiful smile made him smile as well, despite his tears.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

He led her back toward the shore, his fingers laced with hers. They sat beside one another, still holding hands. He brushed a few damp locks away from her face with a free hand, needing to touch her and remind himself that it wasn't a dream.

She answered his questioning gaze. "I can`t come back with you," she explained sadly, heart plummeting at his disappointed expression.

"Surely you know if I could I would have done so long ago."

"I know. I wish there was something I could do."

"You're done so much for me already. More than anyone I've ever known."

"But it wasn't enough," he protested, looking away and then lowered his head. Freya lifted his chin, making him look at her. Her loving gaze didn't ease his guilt.

"You did all could, and I couldn't ask for more. Now I've come to help you. There`s a creature of dark magic, the last of its kind, wandering free from the cave it was trapped in."

His fears returned when he remembered the power, and another thought came to him that chilled his bones.

"It`s the creature that bit Mithian during the picnic! I cured her, but I felt its power in the castle before it went away."

"It's a tiny but deadly beast called a trickster. It thrives on causing chaos and bringing pain. The trickster might have been looking for another victim."

His gaze became intense and determined when he spoke. "I won`t let that happen. How can I stop it?"


End file.
